the Moth and the Flame

Why is it you seduce me so with your fluttering heart and feverish blush?

said the Moth to the Flame.

You burn so brightly yet can be snuffed out so easily by the mere gasp of an insect's wings. You enrapture me with your rippling body yet singe me with your breath. 

the Moth wavered above Him, having nowhere to land and rest upon.

You lock me out yet chain me to flight. Yet why do I relish in this dance so?

the Moth, having burnt as brightly as the Flame, tumbles from the still air and the Flame wavers no more.

i'm sorry.

What's it like to cry yourself to sleep?
I wouldn't have known if not for you.

Laying on my back,
I reached my arm out to the right last night
where you usually sleep
but all I felt was the ghost
of a cold arm.
My hand clenched down on empty sheets
and you didn't rock me to sleep like you always did when I had a bad dream.

I could have hugged real tight
-to smush all your broken pieces back together,
to pull yourself together for you-
just once when you were there for real;
you were the once who needed to be rocked to sleep then.
But I stayed absolutely still then
and listened to your insomniatic husk tremble
with the weight of the world
in the dark.

And for that,
I am sorry.
I am so, so, so sorry.
I am so sorry that my insides won't stop clenching,
squeezing every last drop of hate and guilt and regret
out of my puckered face.

credit: story_thyme_guy (from 9GAG)

Mommy hugs me
She sings me to sleep
She shows me her laughter
But not when she weeps
Mom I never imagined the pain I put you through
Because I always loved you and always thought you knew

Mom, tears are rolling down my face
As I remember the memories I can't replace
Because, Mom, you've gone ahead and entered death's embrace
Mom, I'm standing at your tombstone and I'm crying because all I did was chase
After things that didn't matter and things that always changed
But you were there, mommy and you never changed

it's been a while...

hey guys...it's been a while.
so much has changed.
anyways, here are some more of my thoughts.
just thought i would to share.

when you lose someone you love,
you feel her death all over again.
every day you wake up
and you're reminded throughout your day of her
and knowing you'll never see her again.
like the mothers day sale jewelry advertisement on the radio
or that Korean tofu place that you always ate at with her.
its like struggling to not fall into a pit-
treading water at the deep end while completely worn out
gasping for air as your lead limbs sink lower.

and you still talk about her in the present tense
or else she's gone
for certain.

I wonder

I wonder sometimes how many times your lips

have carved out my name into the hanging silence; 

For mine have done yours on countless occasions.

A mute mouth, or perhaps a breathless whisper

marveling at how this cluster of syllables

can hold such emotion.

A feather-light flutter, or perhaps a burdening weight

touching a spot deep within your being.

as long as I'm with you

I could climb mountains that scrape the heavens
as long as I'm with you.
I could surface from hell-fire
as long as I'm with you.
I could beam through a bitter day
as long as I'm with you.
I could tread any current,
chaff any tribulation,
battle any demon,
as long as I'm with you.

But flame tinted leaves flutter down
around a porcelain butterfly urn,
and the battle's half lost.
Crumbling battlements
and withering standards
ebb into the stifling winds.

The Almost Ghost

Note: I was originally never going to publish this, but a change in situation allows me to. Thanks, but no thanks.

I think I saw you that night
when you were supposed to be
across the city
in your hospital bed
when I stood glaring at that spot,
now tidily replaced by clean sheets
without a wrinkle or muss,
where you decided you didn't belong anymore,
battling both my anger
and my guilt of having it.

You did not move;
I swear;
the longer I stared,
the more blurry you appeared
-however infinitesimally-

As the days dragged along,
bringing prospects of recovery
and healing,
your white shadow watched over me;
however powerless it was to help or harm.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

However, any chance of healing was
violently snatched away
by an unopened pill case
and a very
very
long red scarf.

I watched through drowning eyes
after the world shattered;
your almost ghost
flickered and faded
and now you can be whole
someplace else.